Successful Epiphany

(This was originally part of my previous post, but with the topic being such a stark contrast I decided to split it)

Unfortunately, I haven't had the chance to delve much further into my Etsy business. I've saved up enough for a serger though, so now all I have to do is figure out which one to buy. I'm asking around for opinions and researching. I hope to settle on one soon. Then I can start practicing and build up an inventory of all the things I want to sew.

I also need to get serious about soapmaking. I need to get over my fear of failure and just get going with it. I won't be able to get as wide an audience unless I do so. The allure of a TARDIS soap will bring people to my shop, and then the wide variety of other Doctor Who items will keep them there. Plus, I need to get my idea out before anyone else gets the bright idea and steals my thunder.

And I've been doing my best to keep from having wild expectations about this venture or blow it out of proportion but . . . I honestly can't shake the feeling that this could be incredibly successful. That I could make a decent secondary income on this. I've avoided fully admitting this to myself because I didn't want to get a large head or frightened with the prospect or risk being disappointed if it didn't pan out.

Only now that I think about it, perhaps this belief is an essential part of creating this business. I need to be my biggest cheerleader. If I don't believe I can succeed then how is it ever going to get off the ground? I thought that by simply building a business I was stepping outside my comfort zone, but this must be the first step.

My personality gravitates toward the disposition of "play it safe" which in many situations is a wise decision. But my flaw is that I have a tendency to let it overtake my life. Never doing anything "too wild" and tiptoeing through life to avoid failure. This is largely due to the bullying I suffered. It twisted my life's philosophy into never rocking the boat because it's the best way to avoid conflict. At first it was only in relationships with other people, but now it's seeped into all areas of my life. I can't be too passionate or dream any lofty goals. I need to play it safe to avoid failure.

But that's no way to live! It's like that quote by J.K. Rowling: "It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default." Or even what Mrs. Frizzle says: "Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!" It's the only way you can truly grow as a person. It doesn't mean I have to catapult myself into the unknown, but take a firm, confident step forward. I used to avoid the unknown like a plague, but recently I've been cautiously edging my toes into it. Now it's time to be bolder.

So yes, I'm going to build a successful and thriving Etsy business. It's not going to make me rich, but it will stop me from living paycheck to paycheck, knock a few years off my student loans, and lay the groundwork to be a stay-at-home mom once I have kids. Many people have succeeded in creating their small business, and I think the main thing that sets them apart is their belief. They knew they could do it, and that drive is what pushed them through the hard times and provided the support they needed to stand on.

I have to want this badly and believe I can do it. An attitude of "meh" won't cut it. No one is going to check in on me or give pep talks when I need it. I can depend on the support of those closest to me, but ultimately it boils down to me, myself, and I.